Once, I was a great cellist.

I was once a Great Cellist. What seams a very long time ago.

I could play anything and everything. I was a major soloist, and first chair in my orchestra for nearly 5 consecutive years. I was absolutely unstoppable.

I could play that thing like no one else. My life went to the cello. On weekends all I did was sit on YouTube and watch fellow cellists I aspired to become.

Man, I played the heck out of that thing. Every piece, every measure, every note, was not a challenge, but a new friend. A new play date, of sorts. It was never difficult, it was what I did. No questions asked. People would ask me how long I practiced, and I would give rough estimates to their immensely surprised faces. But it was never long enough for me. Never good enough. When I played my cello, time stood still, and my time was no longer measured in seconds and minutes, but in beats, and in 4/4 or 3/4, or 6/8. I played my cello for 1000 measures, not 60 minutes. 

I was absolutely unstoppable. Everything I did was perfect, every piece I played a masterpiece. 

Well, as the story usually goes, I was a little girl chasing a dream. A dream which always seemed quite impossible. But that didn't bother me. So, I lived my days as THE Cellist. The girl who's name actually became "Jessica 'That Cool Girl who Plays the Cello' Watson". That was me. I answered to "cello" more than my own name. 

I. Was. Awesome.

I soloed my heart out. I received nothing less than the highest ratings in every solo festival I participated in. I received soloist awards over saxophonists and trumpeters from California, and Colorado. I was chosen for Solos, and I rocked the stage. 

Once, I was a great Cellist.

Then, suddenly, I went to college. 

In one day I went from 1st chair to about 7th. 

I went from playing like a virtuoso, to playing nothing but Scales for 3 weeks straight. I was reintroduced to the cello, and made privy to the fact that I knew little about this piece of wood I carried around everywhere. 

I went from center stage to the back of the section. I relearned everything. I started at the bottom, and I'm still climbing up.

Once, I was a great Cellist. 

But I gave that up. 

I gave it up to become a greater cellist. I let my professors see my imperfections. I let myself go back to the beginning, and fall to the bottom. In order to form a more perfect technique, and a greater cellist.

I'm still "That cool girl who plays the cello." 

And I still practice. A lot. I should be practicing about 24 hours a week. I'm not quite there, but I'm working my way to it. 

I've only just started this journey. I'm still at the bottom looking up at the stars, but I already sound better than I ever did. And I'm willing to work, and keep working. I'm not afraid. It's not a challenge. It's just a change that I'm getting used to. And I'm loving every minute. Even those minutes when I'm so frustrated I can't even think straight. This incredible journey I'm on is only warming up. The refiner's fire is an intense one.

But then again, I always was too stubborn to quit ;)